when we were in love.

i remember the time so vividly
as if it happened yesterday.
i still have kisses lingering on my forehead and nose,
anticipating when u would finally kiss my lips.
i've always been scared of u.
scared that we could be something they couldn't handle.
scared that i would take ur hand
only for u to lead me some place where
u could leave me
and i would just be there needing u.
but we were in love.
so i threw all my fears aside cuz
i've never been more scared of anything than
losing u.
so now we do this uncoordinated dance
of what used to be...
i sit back and blame myself,
wondering if i hadn't been so scared and
called dibs on ur ass when u wanted me
i would have u.
but i mean,
that was when we were in love.
when nothing else mattered but us being together
and nothing could keep us apart.
we said a lot of long goodbyes
trying to drag out our last moments together for as long as we could
and now we've been reduced to informal passing bys
with no hopes of the sweet kisses or hugs we had
when we were in love.
cuz now it's just
i'm in love.
with a memory.
with the way we used to be.
the way i screamed ur name until i couldn't scream anymore.
the way we stayed up late just talking.
the way we held hands
and held each other
and held our hearts
when we were apart
too long.
when we were in love
i was ur girl.
but now i've been reduced to some girl.
some girl who loves u.
some girl who defends u.
some girl who misses u.
but none of that matters
cuz we're not in love.
it's just me by myself.
it was right around this time last year
when we were in love.

it's no shocker. im in love with a boy. what do u do when ur biggest fear comes to be? there's nothing u can do. =/
i love you.

that's all i have.