Everyday's Forecast.

I'm resisting every urge I have to curl up into a ball and disappear off the face of the fucking earth. I'm in a hateful ass relationship with my own damn emotions. I have a tendency to care. I fall for all the wrong people and things and there's this devastatingly cold lonely feeling that won't get of my fucking back. And most importantly, I'm tired. I'm tired. Of trying with bullshit ass results and misinterpretations of my soul, heart and worth.

But yet, I'm still trying. I have no idea why. I'm taking a lot of heat from people I love, leveling out my pride, bottling up my emotions. I know exactly how I feel but I'm tired of explaining, trying to prove myself. Here's what's going on inside my head in a something slight format.

• BOYS. The one I think I want. The one I probably need. The other one? Funny how this is probably the least of my problems. Always in my head but a solution in itself probably. Everybody loses, lol. --That's not funny.
• We'll call this bullet --LOVED ONES AND LISTS. I have some friends. I don't want them to go on this list I have. It's a list that pains me and makes me sad. Like brings me to tears sad. That is all.
• SCHOOL.
• MOTHER.

I repeat --I'm tired. Tired of the same outcomes and repetitive pains. It's really taking a toll on me that I don't want to express. I just need to sit down. And I think I see everything the way its bound to happen. I'm done. I'm gone. You're just waiting. For what? Idk. New Years is just another day on the calendar. Don't structure our pains around it.

He broke down in tears talking about how God neglected him. --Everyday's Forecast.